…or why I should not have any more children.

Before we welcomed our son last year, I never imagined how I can have any more children than our would be 8 year old daughter. I remember, the transition from one child to two was making me emotional.

There was I, thinking:

How can I love another child if it seems that I have poured out all my love for child #1?

Then baby #2 came and bam! I instantly fell in love, all over again. A parent’s love is indeed, an unending, bottomless pit.

I worried about sibling rivalry but dismissed the thought because of the big age gap (8 years) that my children have between them. That Pristine will be more understanding because she is older and don’t need that much affection and time with me anymore. I was wrong. Sibling rivalry is something that I don’t want to happen to my own children yet I am on my way of creating this if I am not too careful.

I have shown a little bit more affection towards the baby boy. It seems that I’ve been showering him attention and giving him hugs and kisses more than I give the older child.

Unconsciously.

Let’s admit, we parents easily fall to that wonderful “baby magic” – those chubby cheeks, sweet smell, cuddly bits all over. Plus, we may show more affection to the younger child because there young and we feel they need more affection.

I plea guilty.

With my busy routine around the new baby, it”s so easy to miss those little signs that the older child is feeling a bit insecure. The way she would come near me when the baby sleeps and ask, “can I lie here beside you?” or when I say goodbye as I head to work and I only kiss the baby and she would rush to me, hug me tight and say, “I love you, mom!”.

I have a boy and a girl. A complete set. I don’t want to have another baby again mainly because my previous two deliveries were a nightmare and that, I don’t want to hurt two little children because deep inside, I know, I’d be smitten with a new baby again and need to work hard at dividing love and attention properly. Equally.