Pristine and Benjamin greeted me at the door as if in a contest who gets to hug me first. We wrestle and fall down on the sofa and I said, "Awww, my two babies!" My daughter looked up at me and said, "you could've had three, you know?" Then I remembered. Sometimes I think if … Continue reading That third baby
infertility
It doesn’t get easier
So I really thought this is it. Some symptoms were there - most noticeable of which was the hard core intuition and dizzy spells. My emotions climbed up to new heights and I couldn't stop smiling. One more day and I'm gonna buy that stick to check. Then it's a false alarm again. I hate this … Continue reading It doesn’t get easier
It’s not them, it’s me
Photo taken from Google images. For illustration purposes only. Breathe. Wipe away the tears. Sit straight. Breathe deeply one more time. Now, write. I've promised I'll put it behind me. No more heavy drama on every good news I hear. Damn, these people need to be congratulated, not cried upon! I am sure I am happy for each … Continue reading It’s not them, it’s me
It’s easy to think outside of the box – only if the box isn’t so comforting
Thank you very much for all your kind words regarding my oh-not-so discreet heart break. I feel great being able to voice it out. I'm working in an all-male office with no female chatty-chatty friend with day in and day out, hence the birth of this blog and random rants. Days after I wrote that post, … Continue reading It’s easy to think outside of the box – only if the box isn’t so comforting
Diagnosis: Secondary Infertility
Photo taken from here, for illustration purposes only. I cry everytime I look at the prescription sheet the ob-gyne gave me. "Infertility" - the word sounds so remote, so alien, unbelievable, not applicable for me. Don't I have a record of being able to procreate? I am sure the pregnancy and the labor 6 years ago … Continue reading Diagnosis: Secondary Infertility
I’m not the captain of my ship
I should be in the hospital right about now, wearing fluffy rabbit slippers, flannel pajamas and a really big bra. But I am not. I am not in a place with boring white walls and smelling of ammonia and there's no IV drip on my wrist. I should be swinging back and forth the corridor … Continue reading I’m not the captain of my ship
Finding Backroads 