That day I discovered mindfulness

Today I woke up mindful, choosing to acknowledge the things that make me happy. Happiness for me meant first and foremost, I am breathing, I am alive because that is everything.

I am not angry with anyone and most of all, I am not angry with myself.

I am not in pain.

Actually, when I think about it, our tendency is that we always whine when we have a headache or a head cold or pain in my back, etc but we rarely acknowledge when we’re feeling stellar. And today, I am feeling stellar. I don’t even feel bloated. Heh.

My jeans are not choking me to death, I have breathing room in my waist, the fit is perfect (I finally found my soul mate jeans and it makes a whole new difference in my life! So it may be easy to say that one of the keys to happiness is owning a pair of jeans that fits you perfectly!), my blouse is just right and I even have the most comfortable shoes even if I was running this morning on the way to work.

Life is not perfect. We have challenges in our midst, especially right now that my husband has taken a different career path that has no surety or guarantee but he is certainly happier and his less stressful days has made everyone in the house breathe a little easier. And smile more.

A few days ago while my husband and I were in the car driving through traffic in one of Dubai’s notorious for traffic road (Ittihad road, I’m talking about you!), we talked about depression. That there are days when I feel I am in the brink of depression (he was actually surprised about this revelation) but I found out why and what drives me to that edge: it’s over thinking. Over thinking about the future, over thinking of the little things that are beyond my control.

“Come to think of it, thinking seriously of the future is scary…mostly because we don’t know what’s in store for us. We cannot see what’s ahead and that makes me feel jittery.” I began my monologue.

“But the best way to predict the future is to create it, now.”, he said. We just need to paddle through this ocean of life together

Lately, I’ve feel I’m sleepwalking through life: waking up early to exercise, making breakfast, packing lunch, taking a bath, catching the train to work, working for 9 hours, back home, dinner, take kids baths, bed time stories, sleep and repeat. In the rush to accomplish necessary tasks, I find myself losing connection with the present moment—missing out on what I’m doing and how I’m feeling. Do I notice whether I feel well-rested in the morning or if the sky had clouds along my morning route to work?

No. But today, I acknowledge that I am well rested and there were some interesting clouds in the sky.

Hmmm, being mindful is actually nice. I like it and wish I would be like this every day. Being mindful sounds like a great idea, but it’s hard because life is filled with so many distractions – to do lists, e-mails, social media, not to mention those pesky little things called thoughts!  I’ve read that mindfulness takes a lot of work, but the good news is that the longer you practice, the easier it gets, and the more joyful your life becomes.

That said, mindfulness isn’t about being happy all the time. It’s about acceptance of the moment we’re in and feeling whatever we feel without trying to resist or control it.

So today, I walked toward the end of our office building to see a work colleague and greet her good morning and tell her I’m happy, because I’m a little more mindful and it feels so great.

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