Work at home mom – is it for you?

My friend and I had a discussion about being a mom, work and having to rock both worlds. Isn’t every mom’s dream? She is a stay at home mom while I work full time outside the home 5 and a half days a week.

My friend thinks being a work-at-home mom is the best setup, a dream picture for moms who strive for that elusive work-life balance. I disagree. Not that we were about to start the so-called (and pointless) mommy wars of “should I stay or should I work?” debate. Each setup works for some, but not for all and each to her own.

While so many moms swear work-at-home is the best setup for them, it is not the best setup for me. Before you judge – as a mom working outside the home, I do wish there’d be days I could stay at home and be with my children. Days when I am jealous of stay-at-home moms.

But knowing myself, I believe that the work-at-home setup will not work for me.

While desperately wanting to have the best of both worlds, doing work at home will end up being impartial to each – to my work and to my family, especially my children.

Why? Because I am sure that something’s gotta give.

Take for example, if you have a client on the phone (or having that very important deadline) and your baby cries – it’s either you will feel the need to put the client/work on hold or put the baby’s need on hold. You are faced with the situation to go through your work while listening to the baby cries in the background. This setup will not work for me simply for the reason that I cannot bear to hear my baby cry and NOT run to his side.

Also, I have issues with dangling the baby on my side while tinkering with the keyboard or attending to an important work phone call.

My stance, and the best way I know I can handle and what works for me is to separate work and family responsibility. Give my 100% for work outside and go home, wear my mom cap and give my 100% undivided attention to my children when I am at home. The only way I find it fair for both sides.

And I imagine the work at home setup scenario will get more difficult as children get older, from babies to toddlers because small children do not understand the concept of “work”. If mom is around the house, why isn’t she attending to me? Why is she locking up herself in her “office room”? In my experience with my daughter Pristine when she was little, she is the type to want mom for herself when mom is around. She would bring me books and sit on my lap, she would bring me lego sets so we can play. She will ask for me to sit with her watching her favorite movies regardless if I was busy with other chores. For the life of me, there were even days I could not commit to personal bath time or bonding time with my husband because of toddler needs. How can work possibly fit into the picture?

I would like to hear from moms who work at home. I think somehow, this work-at-home thing will work out better IF you are your own boss. But if you are still an employee working for a company and reporting to a boss outside the home, you will be constantly exposed to the firing line of  guilt from both parties: from work and from your responsibilities as a mom at home.

Lastly, don’t get me wrong – I am not condemning my friend and all the other moms who choose to ‘work-at-home’. We all have issues we worry about regardless of what path we take – I am only sharing what I know works for me right now. And I laud the moms who can pull the ‘stay-at-home’ setup while keeping everyone happy, work boss and family. In fact, I want to know how they do it!

What about you? What do you think about the work-at-home setup? Do you think it will work for you and your family? Why and why not?

8 thoughts on “Work at home mom – is it for you?

  1. I BABYSAT for a mother that worked from home. Except she knew the kids would still want HER so she’d go to her sisters house and work from there while I stayed and watched the kids. So really… whats the point!? lol

    Like

  2. You make wonderful points. Truly every mom I know who works from home with the exception of one who operates a home daycare has to make a point of their work-at-home time being shut off from the kids. Fortunately for most, they actually work at home during their children’s school time so the separation of work and child time is easier. The points you are making make perfect sense to me although I never really thought about them. Sometimes I think I would love to work from home, but really, it is also nice to be out with the grownups too. I also only work until 3, so I have lots of time for my son when he is out of school.

    Like

    • My stance is so much influenced by the age of my youngest child – still a baby, that’s why I think working at home will create more tension for me than working outside the home. I guess this work-at-home setup would be easier when kids are older and at school most of the day.

      Like

  3. This is a great read! I am a stay at home mom and I?ve wrestled with the idea of going back to work. I?ve been talking about wanting to work from home for a very long time and finally was able to land my ideal at home job! I was talking to a friend about how to juggle work, kids and home life all at the same time (and in the same place), because like you all know, it is CRAZY! She does a lot of work editing and she actually suggested that I read a book called ?The Barefoot Executive? by Carrie Wilkerson and that it would be a great book to give me some great advice. She gave me her website too barefootexecutivebook.com, where I was able to order the book. It?s been great so far. Sometimes I think working from home is harder than working in an office because your responsibilities are not really separate; they’re all in one place staring you in the face! Besides this article, has anyone else read any great pieces (books, articles, etc.) on this topic?

    Like

  4. Yes, working at home is a good set up since we can be able to focus on our family first than to our work. In fact, that what I am doing. I am working at home so that I can give more time for my kids and husband. I am happy with my decision.

    Like

Leave a Reply to Kelly B Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s