Biracial parenting: Is he yours?

I was out with my son in the municipality clinic for his vaccination shots when suddenly, I was asked: “Is he yours?”

I try not to let it bother me (as this is NOT the first time I’ve been asked when I’m out and about with either of my kids without my husband) so I just replied. “Yes”.

At first glance, my children seem to not have any of my features but a close friend told me, if you look at them close and long enough, you’ll realize that yes, they are my children.

But strangers never look close or long enough. They do not exist to do that. They only shuttle their eyes from the baby to me, 5 seconds each and easily conclude that I’m the nanny, a temporary carer or anything but the mom.

In a country where maid culture is popular and kids tag along with maids while the real parents are shopping (awful, really), it’s difficult to judge whether the child belongs to the carer or not. But honestly, that should be none of anyone’s business. No one should stare and dare ask, “is he yours?”

I am from the Philippines and my husband is from Japan. Yes, my children look Japanese. I know and accept that I lost the DNA pool battle. You don’t need to shove it in my face. And in case your parents didn’t tell you, it’s rude to do that.


  1. That’s unbelievable!
    As a caucasian person, I have a hard time distinguishing between chinese, japanese and korean people…I also have a hard time distinguishing caucasian 20 something women who all have the same hair colour hahaha
    But to me, Japanese and Philippino people don’t look so different…You are from the same part of the world with similar features!
    I think your children look like both of you 🙂 Although biologically speaking children are suppose to look like their father so that the father will recognize them (we’re talking caveman era here).
    I hope baby Ben did well with his shots!



  2. My husbands first wife was Polish and American Indian. So, she was very dark in hair color and eyes. Their son looks like an American Indian. Dark in both eyes and hair. Also a hawk like nose. Their daughter looks like my Scottish Hubby. Blond and blue eyed. We pretty much accept “mutts” here in the USA. Almost no one is purely bred!
    I agree…how rude!



  3. I guess there will be people who don’t think before asking.

    Just have to shrug it off. My brother has a bi racial child. There is no way she is going to look like him, but who cares? If people think it odd, who cares. We love her dearly.

    And even when children grow up, you never know what the gene pool is going to give the child in the way of looks. I have one nephew I just knew he was going to look like our side of the family. Nope, he looks a little like his father, and probably some of his ancestors. Totally different than I imagined.



  4. to top it off, most nannies of affluent families are Philipinos (that’s how they spell it right? :))

    which municipality clinic do you bring your kid? how much does the vaccination costs? that would be a great topic since vaccinations here are very expensive and normally not covered by basic medical insurance provided by employers.



  5. Hi Grace,

    I too can relate with you. I am in the same situation as my daughter is half filipino- half australian. Sometimes people just don’t think before they speak. Why not instead of asking if he/she is yours, ask or compliment the baby instead. The other annoying thing is people that just touches the baby without asking because they think the baby is cute. Uhm hello??? Lol. Sorry i’m venting a bit. But it’s nice too know that someone else is on the same page.



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