Yet another post about motherhood.
While I was putting my son to sleep at 3am after a diaper change and feeding, sleep was a remote possibility. When you’re waking up and sleeping again only to wake again so many times in the night, there is really no proper time to sleep and I wasn’t particularly feeling sleepy. Being a new mom (again) is an exciting time for me, after eight long years, here I am back to smelling that sweet baby smell and enjoying my newborn so much that I turn into a stare fool and could not take my eyes off him. But honestly, it is also exhausting – even with my mother on my side who tremendously helps me around. She has helped me regain my strength and nursed me back to health after my c-section surgery.
I am happy but still exhausted. Then I think of my sister in-law or my close friend Rose and Charlotte who didn’t have anyone with them when they had their babies. They did everything on their own. Taking care of the baby, the laundry, cooking, the dishes, they had to do all of that by themselves. They are still on their own right now.
I feel bad. I am spoiled. I do not even have the right to say the word exhausted.
When my mom leaves in about two months (when the baby is almost 3 months old and still small!) I am going to be juggling things like a first time circus juggler. Excuse the pessimism but I simply could not imagine to be able to do everything!
I am scared.
My friend Rose said you gotta do what you gotta do and make do of things when no one is around to help you. And she also said, I can do it (especially if there is no other choice)! I’m going to hold on to that positive advice. And stop myself from counting down the days when help isn’t going to be available anymore.
When my mom leaves, we have the option of hiring a housekeeper or keeping baby Ben into someone’s care outside of our home because I have to go back to work. Both tough decisions I wish I didn’t have to make.
Finding Backroads 
Thanks for the special mention here.
What helped me with Mark, when he was a baby and Matthew was 3-years old, was:
– putting him on the swing, bouncer, playpen, crib or floor and not getting him used to be carried around. The only time I carry him in my arms is when i breastfeed him and put him to sleep or when he is extra fussy. The rest he is down, around me or played by his big brother, then I get to do chores.
– surrounding him with music or sounds all the time so that he always hears something, of course we have dancing music, sleeping music, etc. and talking to him a lot helps too.
– regulating his feeding and sleeping pattern. It always helps to follow a schedule so I knew exactly what he wanted when he cries. Untill now he still has a scheduled naptime, bedtime, breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks. Usually when we deviate from the schedule is when all hell breaks lose in my household.
I wish I did this when Matthew was a baby. It could have helped me a lot especially on the ‘sleeping’ part. Matthew’s sleeping pattern was so erratic, I was going crazy! I wonder how I got things done then.
And, it’s not like I have a job to go to. I stay home to take care of my babies and the house. And of course I have a washing machine, dishwasher, vacuum cleaner and all the gadget I can use to help me with the chores, I even have a steam cleaner. That’s how I get things done, I guess.
Now think about what my mother did back then, and your probably your mom, too. My mother, at 22 years old, already have 2 babies in tow, me at 2 years old and my baby sister. She didn’t have a stroller, a crib or anything for the babies, just herself. She did all housechores, laundry, dishes, cleaning, cooking, etc. BY HAND. On top of that, with me and my baby sister in tow (because she couldn’t leave us in the house), she has to fetch water EVERYDAY by carrying a bucket to and from a couple of blocks away (water source) to fill up our big water container. My father was at work, and she had NO HELP at all. Now, how the hell she did that, I have no clue.
Whenever I feel like whining and complaining or getting scared about my being a mother, I think about all the things my mother had to do in her days. After that honestly, I feel embarrassed for myself and I don’t feel like whining and complaining or getting scared anymore.
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Oh my, I didn’t realize how long this was going to be, oh well…
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No worries at all! I LOVE your comments!
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I have edited the post to include a link to your blog. Sorry I wrote it using my iPhone and it was tedious to put links…now I’m using the PC 🙂
Thanks a lot for your comment! You made me feel so much better. Yeah, I should think about what my mom has gone through, alone! And your mom too. They are the real toughies.
And oh, reading your long comment makes me smile. I am going to say this again as I have said before: I really never thought you’d come this far, from the socialite-ish, shopaholic, vain pink loving Charlotte to being an awesome mom!
Also? You have two boys – that instantly entitles you a mommy trophy!!
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I had no clue I was a “socialite-ish, shopaholic, vain pink loving Charlotte” to you. I thought I was always nice to you. 😉
Seriously, hugs to you Grace! Rose is right. You CAN certainly do it on your own.
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oooh, don’t get me wrong!! All of it was meant in a good way hehehe
socialite-ish – sosy ang dating bah! sophisticated..no slippers, always heels, well kempt everything
shopaholic – with setsu! 😉
vain – again, never compromising anything from hair to feet! I always admired that in you!
pink loving – well…your Hirooka room! Who would have thought the gal who lived there would one day be a doting mom. I never would have guessed!
This is proof that you really can’t judge anyone by appearance or that initial judgment of a person is not always lasting.
And yes – you were nice to me. I have great memories with you in Nagano!
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Is your Mom going back forever, or is she just taking a long vacation?
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Going back forever! My father is alone in the house right now since the last child (my sister) has left so my mom needs to be with him. She is in Dubai right now.
I am really, really grateful for the almost 5 years with my mom here with me.
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Can’t your dad come to Dubai, find a job maybe, so with your mom, they both can live close by and your mom can come over take care of Baby Ben?
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Papa will never come to Dubai again..he never really like living abroad, even in Japan. And remember he had an accident here that almost costed him his life? he is traumatized by that! 😦
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Oh, what awful timing for your mom to have to leave. 😦 I know your dad needs her, but still, I’m sorry!
You will do fine though. Like the girls you know, you do what you have to! And no, your house may not ever be as clean, but that’s okay too! 🙂
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Hi, Grace san.
It’s Miyuki from Saku.
It seems that you tried to call me few times.
Sorry I could not pick up the phone.
I didnt know that you alreay had a baby!
it’s a boy?
He look very beautifull(=^?^=)
miyuki
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