She doesn’t have a shoe fetish, for now

My daughter and I, I noticed are so different and as she grows older, I have observed those differences more and more. I am not talking about the physical aspect, as that is a given – born to parents from two different countries, only a few people will say she looks like me. Sometimes, people often ask where is the mom. Unbelievable, I know. But our main difference is behavioral.

She is unattached to things. (not that I am the material girl!)

Years back when I was her age and I get new shoes or dress, I feel like it’s Christmas. Mostly because it’s not always that I get these shiny, new things being born in a single income family, brood of six. We have our turns, whoever has the biggest hole in his or her shoe get the first priority for shopping. The others have to wait for their shoe holes to get bigger. When it’s my turn for new shoes, I sleep with it (don’t judge). The new box is like a new found treasure chest that nobody should dare to touch. I imagine myself matching my dresses to the new shoes – in this case, because I only have one pair, all my dresses matching or not have to be worn with that shoes. Every pair I had was precious.

Pristine on the other hand, is an only child. Whenever she needs something, we can readily give. But she never demands and would wear her shoes until it’s too small for her. Right now, she’s got one for school, one sports shoes, a pair of sandals, some casual flip flops, a pair of dressy boots and that’s it. Yesterday we went out to buy some new pairs because she has outgrown most of her shoes. We picked a ballet flat style, boots and rubber shoes. THREE pairs in one go! I would have fainted with the illusion I was taken to some magical world if it were me before.

At the counter, she kissed me saying, “Thank you mama. I love you”. We paid for it (using the gift certificate gifted to her from the summer fashion show just a few months back), put the big plastic bag at the back of the car and went home.

When we got home, she didn’t even mention the shoes.

At all!

It’s like it doesn’t even matter to her or she has completely forgotten because it’s past her bedtime. It’s like, good if she has, good if she doesn’t. No big deal! I was shocked. I never buy ‘just because’, only when necessary so you can’t say it’s because she’s used to shopping sprees. We don’t do spur of the moment shopping without any special occasion as we do not want to spoil her. And I want her to appreciate everything she has, like I did.

She rushed to brush her teeth, put on her pajamas and kissed me good night. She was already asleep when I took out the shoes from the boxes. Memories of my past came back…how different we are. I don’t know what’s going on in her mind…suddenly you get three pairs of shoes and you don’t feel a thing?

Or she just know that it’s crazy to sleep with your shoe boxes like her mother did!?

[Photo credit]


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  1. Probably your girl knows that you will buy her what is needed and today kids have a lot of things in life they easily ignore, a simple soda in one example, when I was young you can only drink soda when there is an occasion.



  2. it feels good to read another mother’s story of parenting, really, it makes you feel you are not alone in this world. thanks for sharing Grace. sometimes i even envy my daughter for I sometimes buy her things I never had but in the end it is like buying it for myslef too. eg nintendo-gameboy 🙂



  3. I know that too! I also sleep with my new shoes, bag, etc back in the days, and (this is embarrassing) our sala would turn into a runway almost every morning and every night as me and my sister would have our turns parading our new finds.



  4. I always remind my daughter how fortunate we are to be able to afford nice things for her and her brothers. It certainly wasn’t that way when I was growing up. I do my best not to spoil her, but I do enjoy providing her things I didn’t have as a child.



  5. I think the experience is a big factor to why you and your child are different when it comes to treating your belongings. I think, when I was a kid I am lucky as well especially how the simple things I experience and receive had make me really happy.



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