37 weeks, ready to go

I am 37 weeks pregnant. That’s considered full term and it won’t be a surprise if the baby decides to come out soon.

The baby.

Our baby – the one we’ve been waiting for so long. How can I share that feeling with you – Hmmm, imagine that you are about to meet the person you will love your whole life. The love that lasts ‘as long as you live’ kind. Wouldn’t you get excited with that?

But blame the pregnancy hormones – that excitement immediately turns into anxiety at times when I look at my first born. For quite a few years I’ve been enjoying ‘hands free’ parenting. Pristine eats, bathes, changes her clothes, go to the toilet on her own or with only a little help from me. She is about to turn 8 and I look back at all those years of child rearing until she became what she is now…

…those sleepless nights

…the hospital stays during her early years

…the allergic reaction to lots of food that lead me to…my bout with postpartum depression

…toilet training

…first day at school hysteria, just to name a few.

I have to go through those hard road again and honestly, there were obstacles in those roads that makes me shiver. As we bask in the joy of the anticipation of the coming of our second child, I hate myself for having these negative feelings. I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this and spilling it out like no one is reading.

Slapping myself back to reality, I say, “I’ve done this before, surely I can do this now!”

Oh and before I tackle these worries in my head, we are YET to decide a name for the baby!

4 thoughts on “37 weeks, ready to go

  1. You’ve got to know it only gets easier the second or third time around. You already know about all the road blocks and emotional times ahead, and your perspective from your previous pregnancy will help you a lot in getting through these tough times. I would definitely say this week would be a good week to finally decide on a name though šŸ™‚

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  2. if you think of it that way, then having a new baby (again) is hard. but you don’t do them all at one time. you tackle them day by day and it will be easier. more power to you for those hard days, but they are more good days than hard. it’s all worth it! good luck!

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  3. It’s amazing how easy second children are. You know how to do it all and so you just do it without thinking about it too much.
    Oh, I am so happy for you, Grace. You have dreamed of this for so long!

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