Time is ticking away

Pristine at 5 months

I got my last blood chemistry result last week and it showed that my Beta HCG level has returned to zero, meaning I’ve got the whole ectopic pregnancy-induced abortion/miscarriage behind me. It’s a relief, mostly because physically, I wouldn’t go through those needles again anytime soon and emotionally, I am ready to move on.

Thing is, I’ve been told that because of the Methotrexate (MTX) shot I was given, I should not get pregnant for at least SIX months because the MTX shot ripped off my body of the essential nutrient folate, needed for the development of a new life. 

For someone who really wanted to have another baby, pushing 34 in a few months and had difficulty conceiving this past few years, six months is a gruelling wait. With exact calculation, we could only try to conceive at the beginning of January 2011. IF ever we’re successful on the first try, we’ll have baby #2 before the end of next year. If not, well…*insert big sigh here*

There are people around me who’ll tell me in a light as a feather way, “Don’t worry, you still have time. You’re still 34!”

But take this: human gestation is 40 weeks (roughly 9 months). It simply means, if you get pregnant on January, you’ll have a baby on October, February conception will result in a November baby, March will be December bundle and so on and so forth. If we are not successful after March, then there simply won’t be a baby for the whole of 2011! And then that’s the year Pristine turns eight years old (and me, 35).

How will she cope with having a sibling with a very big age difference from her? 

Some would say, “In this generation, women at 40 or 45 are giving birth to healthy babies!”

Well, thanks for the info but I do not want to be a mom again at 40 or 45, when Pristine is what, a teenager already!?

The babe on the photo above is Pristine, taken when she was still a blob in 2004.

8 thoughts on “Time is ticking away

  1. We may plan but God is the best of the Planners.
    You thought you could never conceive naturally……… but you did……… did you plan it?……….. No.
    Likewise, things will happen at the right time without we putting any effort in to it whereas, the things that are not meant to happen will never happen no matter how much we try.
    Therefore, Please don’t lose hope, Put your trust in God, everything will be taken care of!
    Oh, and don’t worry about the age gap, when it happens Pristine will only be concerned about being a big sis 😀
    She looks so sweet!
    .-= PeachRainbow´s last blog ..Nine Charm Packs! =-.

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  2. I can hear your frustration. And I know it well. All I can say is that you know you can get pregnant and keep trying when the time is right.
    You know what? Amanda was 14 when her step sister was born and they are very close. It happens that way sometimes. And for me, after I turned 21 I couldn’t have another baby because of the hysterectomy. So I do understand the longing you feel.
    Hugs.
    .-= Maribeth´s last blog ..Getting My Coffee Grounds Read! =-.

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  3. Grace, I was going to say something like what Peach Rainbow said, she already said it very well. I’m also wondering why you can’t just take a folic acid supplement instead of waiting, but I guess doctors know best…
    I understand your frustration, but it’s true that women are giving birth at 40, my sister in law has done so. Your worry is that your children are too far apart in age. Why is that? Pristine will be just fine as a big “big” sister! She will be a good helper for you too.
    All this stress and frustration is NOT going to help you get pregnant. Your body shuts down under stress and anger, so relax!
    I don’t know what your religous background is, but for me, I find my comfort during stressful times (all times really) in Christ. You can always come to him in prayer. I’m praying for you and hoping you get what you need!
    Hugs from Canada. 🙂
    .-= willowsprite´s last blog ..On Grief =-.

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  4. So sorry for all the hassle. 😦 I’m also wondering though, why can’t you just take a supplement? Especially as you would know that you are trying to be pregnant so just take it every day. I would at least ask the doctor about this.
    I understand there might be a waiting period after the procedure just to let your body heal, but 6 months seems a bit long… maybe 3? Do ask!

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