I’m finally able to sit longer to write a post. I think. Missed me? I missed blogging and I apologize for not being able to post sooner or to answer the emails.
A routine checkup last Sunday ended with me being admitted to the hospital again. The miscarriage that I had (that I thought and the doctors thought) last week, wasn’t a miscarriage at all – it was bleeding due to an ectopic pregnancy.
Here’s a diagram to show what is ectopic pregnancy:
Photo credit: Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research
The fertilized egg for normal pregnancies (those that have happy endings) implant in the uterus while for ectopic pregnancies, the fertilized egg implants somewhere else (in my case, the right fallopian tube) and grows there. If undiscovered, it would grow like an embryo of a normal pregnancy would and would rupture the woman’s tube, some ending in tube being severely damaged, completely taken out, could cause hemorrhage and even death.
My HCG levels were already suspicious and a scan last Sunday showed a 1.4 cm growth in my right tube. I checked in and the doctor told me I need to have an injection called Methotrexate to terminate the pregnancy, to “kill the baby”. She repeated that last phrase over and over that I asked her to please choose other words if she can. She then chose ïnduced abortion” thereafter. For ectopic pregnancies, doctors tend to focus much to saving the mother’s life, forgetting that there’s one life that has to end in exchange.
I was already grieving with the thought that I lost a baby through natural miscarriage so this ectopic pregnancy-induced abortion thing came as a shock.
At 8:00 pm on the day I was admitted, a nurse came to administer the Methotrexate injection (that med to terminate the life inside me). It felt like a death sentence and it didn’t help that I received the syringe needle was so big, probably the biggest I’ve had so far. I waited for the worst. Would I wince in pain? Would it feel like I’m in labor? Would I pass a lot of blood? What would be the side-effects? The doctor assured me that there are only very few people suffer with the side-effects and since I’m healthy and all, and very early in my pregnancy (only 4 weeks), I should be ok. I felt confident and had a good night’s sleep.
So little did I know.
Finding Backroads 
I’m shocked that the doctor used those words!!! How utterly wrong!!! HUGS
.-= Melany´s last blog ..He wrote me a song- =-.
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Oh Grace, I’m so sorry. This must all have been utterly horrific at every turn.
xox
.-= Robin from Israel´s last blog ..Elixir of Life =-.
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I would be finding a different doctor who was more sensitive to you and your family.
And I am sorry to hear of the loss and hope that you are able to rebound and try again to bring a little one along.
.-= Tracy´s last blog ..It?s Funky- Freaky Friday- Fashion?s Oddest Finds- Right Here- =-.
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Good Lord, I can’t believe the doctor used that word! That was so wrong. 😦
Take care!
.-= CandyQ´s last blog ..Oh- happy day- =-.
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Oh Grace I’m so sorry!!! I’ve been looking for you online at night to see how you are… now I know why you weren’t there. 😦 I hope the rest of this story is not as traumatic, but I’m not sure…
And I suppose if there’s any silver lining to all this it’s at least you know now that you can get pregnant… 🙂
Sending you love from half way around the world!
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I haven’t been around much, either, because of family visits and all….so I haven’t heard this news until now.
I am SO, SO sorry you have had to go through this! I am at a loss for words, so I will just send you a huge {{{HUG}}} from around the world.
Love you!
.-= Jacki´s last blog ..Theres a 6 year old in the house =-.
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I’m so sorry you have to go through this. It’s terrible and a really big deal. You lost your baby in such a sad situation. I hope you give yourself room to grieve and search out people to walk through this with you. Blessings of health and life and grace to you and your family. love….
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Well, I’m really sorry to hear that, I’ve recently discovered your site and I’ve been following your topics and this is always a fragile topic to acknowledge.
Good Luck and believe that you’ll be blessed!
.-= Fact´s last blog ..Making money ? Gambling Online =-.
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omg how horrible! I’m so sorry you are going through this! but the only good thing is that you can have children still so not all is lost! Take care!
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Winners- Long over due- =-.
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I am so sorry you have to go through this, lots of love and hugs to you. Although we cannot be with you to offer support please know that we are thinking of you.
.-= Anuan´s last blog ..Groupism – series part 2 =-.
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I was so sad to hear your news. I hope you’ve physically recovered and are feeling better. Big hugs!
.-= Kristine´s last blog ..Subversive Speech Therapy =-.
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Oh Grace, I’m so, so sorry. My heart is aching for you. I’m thinking of you and am keeping you in my thoughts.
.-= Sky´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday ? Twihard =-.
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Oh Grace, all I can really say is I’m sorry for this whole experience! my heart hurts for you and your unborn child-How can a doctor be that callous when talking about aborting a growing child? I just don’t understand their bed manners anymore. I think they need to go back to school just to learn some manners for themselves!
You’re still in my thoughts!
.-= Kayla´s last blog ..Not My Baby =-.
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Grace I am SO sorry you have had all of this happen. I can not even imagine the roller coaster of emotions and fears. The doctors you have dealt with for all of this have been beyond insensitive and sound like they need to have some training on dealing with patients more. Hugs coming your way.
.-= TheAngelForever´s last blog ..Wearing pink for Cora ? 7 months =-.
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Oh my dear. I am so very sorry that you have had to go through this and that the doctor couldn’t think of a more delicate way to approach this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
.-= Kelly B´s last blog ..Thinking On God =-.
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I’m sorry you have to pass through all these. I can’t believe the doctor could use those words. It must have been hard for you. Take care.
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Just caught up ony blog reader – so sorry to hear of your news.
Huge hugs,
Jx
.-= Janmary´s last blog ..Schools Nearly Out for Summer =-.
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My gosh! Keeping you in my thoughts 😦
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Hoping your health improves soon!
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Oh God, Grace… I am SO SO sorry for everything you’re going through.
{{{HUGS}}}
.-= Lorie Shewbridge´s last blog ..Memory Rewind – Baby Nano =-.
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Brace,
I am so very very sorry.
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Grace…sorry, new computer and I’m not used to the keyboard yet.
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Wo, Grace, I am so sorry to read this post so late…
I can not understanded it excitely , so I thought to read it with the dictionary then next time…. and I read it now..
I am so sorry about what had happend ,and forgive what I write before I read this post.
I think you would feel better now, so have a nice day. and you have lovely Prinstine.
.-= good luck´s last blog ..fireworkseveral upped together MTV =-.
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I had ectopic pregnancy at 8 wks I lose right tube and the egg. 😦 Still remember the day, the doc told me don’t wait any more..
.-= Sherry´s last blog ..Win a pair Julia Shoes =-.
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