I was looking at the wedding photos of my brother taken last summer. Oh, they had a wonderful wedding, almost the perfect wedding anyone could imagine. I even silently wished I had a wedding like that: perfectly planned ceremony and party, happy couple, a bride with a small waistline. *cough*
I was supposed to give a speech during the party, as requested by my sister in-law. The idea totally excited me. I had so much to talk about. The moment she asked, I have constructed images and sentences inside my head. This was no brainer! I’ve known my brother since we were small and I clearly remember our petty fights, those that involved boxing (kick boxing or normal, whatever made us happy depending on the occassion), extortion and blackmail. I gleam at the happy memories (we had lots) we have while growing up. Fun times, fun times.
The wedding came and went and I wasn’t able to give that speech, much to my regret.
I chickened out.
Like an unprepared school girl hiding behind her mother’s skirt, I said so many excuses and reasons just not to be on stage with a mic in hand. Truth is, I am terrible with public speaking. Let me write a speech, a script for a drama (used to do a lot of that in high school) but just not put me in front of everyone. If a genie appears to grant me three wishes, I am sure one of that is to erase my fear of talking in front of people.
Why I’m suddenly wanting to change myself? Because today is my birthday and I am getting older – probably high time to eliminate those shy feelings. But still I don’t know how many more birthdays will come until I get over the public speaking phobia I have.
Interesting enough, my horoscope says I can be an actress. Oh well, that wouldn’t happen because I won’t have the courage to speak on awards night!