Back home, that is, since last Friday November 4 after ten days at the hospital. One more day there and I swear I’m going to have to be transferred to the psychiatric ward. There was nothing for me there but the cold walls I face every time I cry and having to put up with very noisy people who think that the ward curtains are concrete cement. They talk like it’s no one’s business, they go along with their big voices in the middle of the night, regardless of who is there or what time it is.
In short, I am so glad to be back in my own home. I only intended to stay in the hospital for two days for normal delivery but I ended up staying for ten, after having emergency Caesarian Section and the baby ending in NICU for six days. Nothing major – they just wanted to make sure everything is ok with him with regards to the infection (from a fever that I suddenly got while in labor). He passed all tests with flying colors. What can I say? The babe is braver than his mother!
Needless to say, those were the most trying days of my life.
I was in so much pain, spirits broken and feeling very incapable. Emotionally, I was a wreck, I cry every time I think about the whole thing and end up asking over and over again why, why, why.
I still needed to be monitored for my postpartum fever – a sign of some sort of infection going on inside me which they can’t really point out after a lot of blood, urine and ultrasound scans. They wanted to keep me there for a few days more but no, I will just deteriorate there with the lack of sleep, proper bed and food (I lost all my appetite) and while breastfeeding, that surely isn’t good.
Well, at least we are back home now and I was right fighting with the doctor to let me go: I am better now. The baby is doing fine and God gracious, he has given me an angel who lets me sleep for three hours (or more) straight. I am not sleep deprived, as of now, at least and with that little thing, I am truly, truly thankful.