I still shiver when I try to recall what happened early this morning.
I nearly lost my son.
Baby Ben had been crying again last night, a bit longer this time because of bloated, upset stomach that gives him griping pain. I was already beating myself up with guilt as to what I have eaten to have caused this agony (through my breastmilk). I wrote all I ate and after removing possible allergens like eggs and dairy from my diet, I really don’t know where to go from there. He’s been having reflux as well – spitting out milk even 15 minutes after feeding him while he’s on my lap, inclined and burped properly.
It was impossible to let him lie flat in bed.
I used pillow so he could be inclined. The pillow is thin but normal size adults use, it’s not a baby pillow. Then I slept beside him. I was already very tired from soothing him for hours so I dozed off immediately. After a while, I felt some jerking movement on my side. When I woke up, I was horrified with what I saw.
Baby Ben was curled up, FACE DOWN and was gasping for air!
In a split second I turned him up. He was so overwhelmed in filling his little lungs with air that he didn’t cry. I did. Almost hysterically. Apparently, he was moving and ‘fell off’ from the pillow, rolled over to his stomach and landed face down in the bed.
(In a minute he was ok, thank God.)
But, what if it was too late? What if he rolled on the other side away from me? What if I didn’t wake up at the right time?
One other important question is: What if I didn’t co-sleep? So many parents are against co-sleeping but this is what saved my son today. I thank God I was there.
So many people discourage co-sleeping, that I’ll be rolling over my baby, suffocating him. It’s ridiculous and over the top because I am always conscious of the baby’s presence – even during sleep. And I strongly believe, unless one is chemically influenced, they will NOT roll over on their child in their sleep.
I wrote about why I co-sleep here. I say “I” not we because my husband sleeps in a separate bed (in the same room), it’s only the baby and me in the big bed.
Note: This post is no way advocating or promoting co-sleeping or bed sharing. Parents do what they think is right and what works for them.
Anyway, this is not about co-sleeping, this is about the danger of using a pillow with size inappropriate for baby. Even if my baby slept on a crib, if I used that big pillow, he could still have fallen off from it and rolled over. So if you are using a big pillow for your baby, please stop especially if he/she is sleeping away from you.